8 Annoying Facebook Habits That Have Got To Stop

February 4 is Facebook’s 13th birthday. In honor of the social network’s big B-Day celebration, here are eight Facebook behaviors that should go the way of the dodo.

1. Virtue Signaling

This is a relatively new term that came into popularity thanks in large part to Facebook. It’s a term for when people go out of their way to signal their noble behavior for others to see and applaud. For example, all those self-congratulatory posts that sound something like this:

“Just gave a homeless guy 50 bucks!! He said I was a hero and the nicest guy he ever met!”

Or:

“Saw a group of kids bullying a little old woman, so I beat them up. A police man walked by and said he liked my moves and I should sign up for the force!”

It’s nice to do good things. It’s not nice to do good things just for the attention of others, especially when those good things sound quite… fictional.

2. “No More Politics, Please!”

The only thing more annoying than people constantly posting about politics is the people constantly complaining about those political posters. Why so?

A) Because if you don’t want to talk about something than the worst possible way to make that clear is by… talking about it. It just gives more fuel to the fire and creates another layer of conversation about the issues.

B) Because politics actually matter. Pictures of homemade Beef Stroganoff don’t. Millions of people are being immediately impacted by what’s happening in Washington, and Facebook is a great tool for them to stay connected, voice their concerns and find unity.

That being said, if you have political posters that annoy you, just hide their posts. So easy. So effortless. If only you could do that in real-life too!

3. Multi-Level Marketing Scams

Listen, I am all for supporting independent business owners and small businesses. But some of these MLM are nothing but dressed-up pyramid schemes. I won’t name any of these companies by name, but there is nothing more annoying than constantly being harassed into buying products by your friends. It’s such a awkward situation to be in, as you want to support your friends and their business ventures, but at the same time, how many face creams and shake powders can one person buy?

To be clear: This doesn’t pertain to Girl Scout Cookies, which are decidedly NOT a pyramid scam, and can and should be sold on Facebook at every possible opportunity.

4. The Bragging “Best Boyfriend Ever!” Status

We all love romance. We love happy couples. But we don’t want to hear your creepy nickname for your spouse and all the details of your intimate relationship. If you want to write them an intensely passionate note, do it the old-fashioned way… on a card. After all, research shows that couples who brag about their relationship online are the most likely to be headed for a breakup. They’re also the most likely to annoy the heck out of their friends (according to my own personal research).

5. The Trigger-Inducing Images

A picture is worth a thousand words. But sometimes it is also worth a thousand ralphs. I don’t want to see a picture of your kid on the potty. (I don’t even want to see a picture of one of my kids on the potty.) I don’t want to see a picture of your broken leg after your skateboarding accident or your face after a chemical peel.

6. The “Oops, I Didn’t Mean to!”

There is an influx of these posts lately. People who take a selfie but then pretend like it was an accident. Such as, “Oops, my camera phone went off! Oh well, here is me at work” or “Ah, my kid took this pic of me! Oh, well.” (I am looking at you, Kim Kardashian.) Guys, it’s okay to take selfies. Post those pics with pride. You look good. We like looking at you. Go you!

7. The “Only My Real Friends Will Post This”

You know this one. The one where someone posts a cut-and-paste status about cancer or some other illness, and then at the end you are requested to share it or re-post it, followed by an ominous “Only 1% of you will re-post this, but I know my REAL friends will.” Sigh. No one is finding the cure to cancer by lazily copying and pasting a status, so let’s take it down a notch. The only statuses we all need to urged to immediately share are Amber Alerts, weather warnings and other emergency information.

8. The “Facebook is Out to Get You!” Warnings

These are the statuses where posters frantically post about changes to Facebook and what you must do to protect yourself, such as “If you don’t copy/paste this status, Facebook can steal your images!” or something similar. These are nothing more than silly scare tactics, and if you are genuinely worried about privacy, you need to go into your settings and tighten up your security, not post statuses about it. If you’re concerned about it, here’s how to make sure Facebook doesn’t have access to your phone contacts.

There you have it. The most annoying Facebook behaviors according to moi. What are your pet peeves about posters on Facebook?