Home & Garden

15 Ridiculous Baby Products You Definitely Don’t Need

These are useless, but oh so hilarious.

Every first-time time parent scours the internet and interviews friends trying to figure out the essential items they’ll need before their little bundle of joy arrives. Take a trip down the aisles of Buy Buy Baby and you’ll see how overwhelming this can be. The choices are endless. How do you decide what you need and what you don’t? Well, you can probably start by crossing all of the items on this list OFF yours. No doubt, desperate new parents pay good money for these, but we can assure you that you definitely don’t need them for anything other than a good laugh. Save your hard-earned cash for all of those diapers—you’re going to need it.

1. Pee Pee Teepee

A washcloth is just too practical. Instead you can use these adorable teepees to keep you safe from the “sprinkling wee wee.”

788
Amazon

2. Daddle Saddle

This one may not be necessary but I am thrilled that it has been invented. It will make watching dads give horsey rides so much more entertaining. Don’t forget to put on the knee pads to make the ride more enjoyable for everyone watching.

572
Amazon

3. Time-Out Pad

Yeah, this is necessary because where in the world would your toddler sit for time-out if you didn’t have a circular pad? I suppose the timer would keep you from accidentally leaving your toddler in time-out for a half hour while you embrace the silence.

684
Amazon

4. Baby Knee Pads

You wouldn’t want those soft baby knees getting roughed up on the carpet or hardwood floor.

305
Amazon

5. Pacifier Wipes

Pacifiers can be sanitized with any number of products that you already have. No need to buy and tote around yet another extra baby item dedicated to one small purpose.

690
Amazon

6. The Snozzie

A perfect product for anyone who loves wrapping drool and snot around their wrist and then carrying it there all day. Yes, you will have a tissue when you need one, but then what?

450
Babble

7. Toddler Urinal

As far as urinals go, this is most definitely the cutest one that I have ever seen. Is it imperative to have though? Not even close.

132
Amazon

8. Over-The-Door Baby Hangers

This is for all those times you have stepped into a bathroom stall holding your little munchkin and thought now where do I put him? If you have the Babykeeper, it won’t be a problem. Just hook him up. (That may be the first time I have ever used that phrase literally.)

910
Mommysentials

9. Hair Hat

Every bald baby will instantly turn into a Cabbage Patch doll with this hat. Changing hair color and style has never been so easy.

945
Amazon

10. Bumper Bonnet

This product is exactly what it sounds like. Instead of putting the bumper around the bed, you place it on the baby’s head. This way no matter where your child is they will have a soft cushion to protect their head from any minor bump.

229
Amazon

11. Baby Perfume

Why would you ever want to mask that beautiful newborn baby scent? Besides, if you purchase this product, you will have to pick up the diaper alarm to know if the diaper is dirty or not.

724
Amazon

 

12. Baby-Stimulating Shirt

Guarantee your newborn is continuously overwhelmed by purchasing this $36 shirt.

950

13. Kids Portable Urinal

This is a disaster waiting to happen. Plus I am pretty sure there will be some lasting emotional consequences for any child who was forced to pee into an animal’s mouth.

599
Amazon

14. Diaper Alarm

Yep, you can now know instantly when your baby has gone to the bathroom. Be continually aware of your baby’s diaper status by utilizing the mobile app. The app will document the intervals between each pee and poop—because that’s something every parent needs to know.

303
Amazon

15. Potty Mitts

A perfect product for any germaphobe in your life. The mitts can go right into the trash when you’re done using them. As a side note, hand washing is still necessary even with glove use.

607
Amazon

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