If you wear a Fitbit, you know how important those 10,000 steps a day are. You can’t make a move, eat a morsel or take a nap without that thing tracking it. Fitbits may have made us more accountable, but have they actually made us fitter? If you use a Fitbit or ever just feel guilty when you skip the gym, this collection of tweets will make you LOL (and hence maybe burn a few extra calories).
1. Hey, steps are steps, right?
When Fitbit counts my walks to class as active minutes pic.twitter.com/mZy2u25uEn
— Maddie (@Madlov_) October 19, 2016
2. It’s the effort that counts.
Fitbit: you've slept 3 hours, eaten 39 calories and taken 14 steps today… Good job!
— egg (@Jazirans) October 19, 2016
3. Fitbit or it didn’t happen.
If you do CrossFit but forget to post it on Facebook Live, did your Fitbit ever really record the burned calories?
— The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) October 19, 2016
4. Good thing it doesn’t count beers drunk.
Fitbit dashboard of a college student:
Sunday: 14 hours of sleep, 100 steps
Monday-Saturday: 4 hours of sleep, 10k steps— Lindsay Ryan (@Laahh_5) October 21, 2016
5. Achieving your Fibit goals is of the utmost importance.
If I hit my Fitbit goal I don't move anymore. It can get a little dicey sitting in a crosswalk with cars honking and swerving around me.
— SingleBabyMama (@_SingleBabyMama) October 18, 2016
6. Treat yo-self.
I think my favorite part of my day is when my Fitbit tells me I'm an overachiever
— Lexi Atkinson (@LexiAtkinson) October 18, 2016
7. Wearing a Fitbit can feel like a prison sentence.
Friend: I'd go crazy if I had to wear an ankle monitor and have every step tracked.
Me (nodding): How's your #Fitbit doing?— lawprofblawg (@lawprofblawg) October 17, 2016
8. Sometimes you just need a break.
FITBIT: You’ve done 11k steps today.
ME: Ok, I’ll rest some.
FITBIT: stop now and I’ll murder you
ME: What?
FITBIT: I SAID GOOD FOR YOU!
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) May 11, 2016
9. If you insist. Sigh.
[during sex]
Can you please take your Fitbit off.
— WineMummy (@WineMummy) May 14, 2016
10. Fitbit as a fashion statement.
https://twitter.com/CamWise_Gamgee1/status/786940446165663744
11. When you have nothing to wear.
I make sure to put my fitbit on before getting dressed so I get credit for all the calories I burn trying on 400 outfits before I pick one.
— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) October 14, 2016
12. When the darned thing doesn’t seem to work.
https://twitter.com/hankypanty/status/786467891436658688
13. I’m too sexy for my Fitbit.
Too legit to FitBit #TakeASongOnAWalk
— f.j. darnell, PhD (@DocDarnell) October 12, 2016
14. Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
My FitBit has no business judging me when it just sits there doing nothing in my nightstand drawer all day.
— ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ™ (@TweetsByTheTony) October 12, 2016
15. Pet needs their steps too.
What's kind of collar is your cat wearing?
Normal.
Is that a Fitbit?
No.
Really?
You don't know how many carbs in a blue jay, do you?— Christopher Moore (@TheAuthorGuy) October 10, 2016
16. When you’ve had a long day.
A Fitbit, but it sends a stroller to carry you once you've walked 500 steps in a day
— Doug Bies (@dougbies) October 10, 2016
17. Must. Reach. 10,000. Steps.
[being chased round my house by a murderer]
ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESSMURDERER: What?
ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) October 10, 2016
18. Well, at least there’s one upside to a stressful day.
Thanks to Fitbit, all my anxious pacing can be passed off as exercise.
— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO) April 1, 2016
19. Even in your sleep, steps count.
I woke up mid sprint last night because I was dreaming there was a bear in my apartment. I'm pissed I didn't sleep with my Fitbit on.
— Mare_Bear (@Willie_Ham) October 21, 2016
20. When your phone sabotages your fitness goals.
Okay, is this some mind game…when I type #fibit into my phone it auto corrects to donut…really?
— Stacy Stevens (@Stacylstevens) April 26, 2016