The 6 Struggles Of Being A Person With High Expectations

Sometimes the eternal pessimism of life leads us to tell optimistic people that they will never find the career, relationship, friend or apartment that they want because their expectations are too high.

But, really, what’s wrong with having extra high expectations? Sure, you get let down more, but you are also much more likely to know what you want and to never settle for something that simply won’t make you happy.

I’m one of those people with high expectations, and sometimes it is difficult to feel like you’re not asking for too much. Here are six struggles of being a person with high expectations.

1. You Always Want To Give People The Benefit Of The Doubt, Even When You Shouldn’t

You will never assume that someone has poor or hurtful motivations until they tell you so or until the evidence is painfully overwhelming.

This leads to a lot of let downs when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships, but you just can’t help that you have a lot of faith in people. Most of the people in your life live up to your high expectations and then some.

friends photo
Photo by Pepe Pont

2. Your Trust Is Hard To Get Back Once It’s Lost

This struggle is directly connected to the last. You have high expectations for the people in your life, so when one of them lets you down, you’re surprised and hurt, and you don’t want to let it happen again.

Letting someone who couldn’t live up to your expectations back into your life sounds like settling, and you don’t do that.

trust photo
Photo by birgerking

3. You Expect People To Be Their Best

You like to be surrounded by people who inspire you and work hard for what they have. It really peeves you people think self-improvement is synonymous with changing who they are. There’s always room for personal growth in your eyes.

This struggle also flares its head when people hurt you. When your friend has a bad day and accidentally takes it out on you, it can affect the rest of your day. You feel really disappointed and let down when your friends or romantic partners make mistakes, and you have to mentally remind yourself that everyone is human.

success photo
Photo by seeveeaar

4. You’re Really Hard On Yourself

You’re hard on yourself in your career, in your relationships and in your emotional and physical health. Cutting yourself some slack is always easier said that done, and sometimes requires a glass of wine or two.

personal fitness photo
Photo by WolfmanBlacque

5. You Hate Having “Off” Days

You expect so much of yourself that when you’re feeling down, you don’t know how to just sit with it. You overanalyze your feelings and try to figure out why you’re feeling them or how you can fix them.

Then, you feel bad about feeling bad if you can’t make yourself feel better in five minutes. In order to deal with something that’s emotionally challenging, sometimes you just have to binge watch something on Netflix (and feel bad about it while you’re doing it).

hard day photo
Photo by Hamed Parham

6. You’re Great At Reminding Yourself Of Your Worth

You have high expectations for a reason: you owe it to yourself. Being hard on yourself makes you work hard and totally determined to give people the best version of yourself.

You put your heart into everything, and that’s why you expect the same of others. You know you’re worth the effort and time, and your expectations remind you of that.

standing on a mountain photo

Photo by Nick-K (Nikos Koutoulas)


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About the Author
Josephine Yurcaba
Josephine Yurcaba is a Brooklyn-based freelance writer. She specializes in lifestyle content, women's issues, politics, and New York music. She has written for Bustle, The Daily Meal, The Village Voice, and Rolling Stone.

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