You Can Now Buy A Ranch Dressing Fountain From Hidden Valley

Hidden Valley Ranch

Because this is 2017, you can now buy a ranch dressing fountain. If this conjures up unpleasant images for you, remember that chocolate fountains had their heyday in the early 2000s. Now it’s time for ranch dressing to shine. And if the idea of this fountain fills you with joy, you can even have your very own.

Hidden Valley, the most popular ranch dressing on the market, has launched an entire online store, the Hidden Valley Ranch Outlet. The store was unveiled on March 10—also known as National Ranch Dressing Day, and we are pretty darn excited about it.

Though the store isn’t a true outlet (prices aren’t reduced, and there’s no talk of a primary Hidden Valley store), it’s still loaded with ranch dressing-y goods. Chiefly among them, the ranch dressing fountain.


If it looks familiar, that’s because it’s basically just a chocolate fountain with the Hidden Valley logo on it. Whatever, it’s fine, we’re not arguing. The fountain itself is actually a great idea for parties, especially considering the wealth of foods that can be, nay, should be dipped in ranch. Everything from chicken tenders to buffalo wings (blue cheese dressing go home) to vegetable crudités – all bathed in shiny white swathes of ranch.

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You can also buy other Hidden Valley products on the site, including:

1. T-shirts emblazoned with slogans such as “Peace Love Ranch.”

2. Modified coozies to keep your ranch (not your beer) cold.

3. A phone case that shouts your love of the creamy dressing to the world.

4. A Bedazzeled bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch, for that person who has everything.

The ranch fountain itself isn’t even that expensive—coming in at an even $100—when you consider the hours of pleasure it will bring to your life. The purchase also includes a year’s worth of Hidden Valley Original Ranch. That’s 12 36-ounce bottles of dressing—but who’s to say it has to last you the entire year? We’re not judging…

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Now go forth and dip those celery sticks!

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About the Author
Jessica Suss
Current high-school English teacher, native Chicagoan, and nut butter enthusiast moonlighting as a writer.

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