If you have a toddler or two (yikes!) living under your roof, you’re all too familiar with the chaos that ensues on a daily basis. Those sweet little darlings are known for shifting moods, boundless energy and palettes more discerning than the most celebrated food critics. And when things don’t go their way? Prepare for an epic meltdown that’s guaranteed to be ten times worse if you’re in public.
When you’re in the trenches raising toddlers, it helps to know you’re not alone. At any given moment, there are millions of other parents battling LEGO-strewn living rooms, Goldfish-covered backseats, ridiculously unproductive trips to Target and never-ending bedtime routines. Fortunately, a few of those beleaguered moms and dads somehow find the time to send tweets from the front lines!
Here are some of the funniest tweets that sum up parenting pint-sized dictators in 140 characters. When you’ve reached that point in the day when all you can do is laugh (as you pour yourself a glass of wine), these spot-on snippets will provide some much-needed comic relief.
1. All the feels.
I didn’t even know you could feel every single emotion in a 20 minute span until I put a toddler to bed.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 14, 2014
2. Mother’s little helper.
Thank you toddler for “helping me with dinner” by doing the vital task of unraveling the entire tinfoil roll. pic.twitter.com/7cSGGAtTte
— mama bird diaries (@mamabirddiaries) April 28, 2016
Me: Is something wrong with your lunch?
3: It’s too wet.
Me: It’s soup.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 2, 2016
4. Cookie monster.
No one exaggerates a situation quite like a toddler who just broke their cookie.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) May 5, 2016
5. Who’s the boss?
I’ve taught this toddler to say ‘please,’ a word he thinks means ‘I command you to do this.’
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 8, 2016
6. Seriously, how do they do it?
A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.
— mama bird diaries (@mamabirddiaries) May 12, 2016
7. The bath time struggle is real.
Apparently a 2 year old getting her hair washed and an exorcism sound oddly similar.
— Bo-Jacques (@jnyemb) March 30, 2014
8. Laundry day, all day.
The 3yo insisted on helping me put all the laundry away. It’s only taken us 6 hours & 10 minutes & apparently pants go in the fridge now.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) May 11, 2015
9. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
The mind of a 3 year old is a scary place. pic.twitter.com/eT3N598ajl
— Bo-Jacques (@jnyemb) July 12, 2015
10. Bon appetit?
You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 12, 2014
[h/t: The Huffington Post]