Dating is supposed to be exciting, adventurous and an opportunity to learn about the person you’re with. But all too often, we get sucked into a routine and we get bored.
Maria Donnelly wrote about it for Thought Catalog. In her piece, she mentions not being a “Netflix and chill” kind of girl. I couldn’t agree more. Below, I pinpointed my favorite three points by Donnelly and how I’m all for what she says. And, I encourage you to try these, too.
1. Be Active, Not Passive
“I don’t want your money. Not always. I really just want your time. I don’t mind cuddling on the couch for a movie. And I don’t mind pizza, especially when it’s pepperoni, sausage, and onion, but I don’t want the same routine. I don’t want the TV over the sound of your voice.” ~Maria Donnelly
I concur. When dating someone, especially at the beginning, I think activity-oriented dates are the way to go. For instance, I don’t do movie dates for at least ten dates (they’re too easy and don’t promote talking), and, like Donnelly says, variety is key.
Routines get boring… and quickly. Especially since we live in a Tinder-Hinge-OKC-instant-gratification-dating-phone/dating-app world now, it’s far too easy to go on a date or two with someone (or “Netflix and chill” with them), then move on to someone new.
But, if we make sure each date is one-of-a-kind and we do spend time getting to know each other, conversationally and away from the TV screen, I’ll bet you’ll have more dates with the same person before feeling bored and giving up too soon.
2. Create Many Memories From Unique Experiences
“I don’t want to be bored by you. I want to spend my life making adventures with you. Carving our initials into tree bark and mountain sides, buying fifty-cent post cards from every gas station in the U.S. and mailing them to ourselves, trying beer in every country, collecting sand from each beach we’ve walked on.” ~Maria Donnelly
Once again, I feel Donnelly knows what she’s talking about. I am all for originality with dates. Some of my best ones have been staying up all night at a diner having milkshakes and laughing until the sun comes up, when graveyard shift waitresses are replaced by the pre-dawn ones.
Exploring new L.A. neighborhoods on foot, and pretending we’re tourists while popping into various thrift stores and cafes. Going on a day road trip to someplace like Solvang, a Dutch area near Santa Barbara, just to have some Dutch pancakes and visit the ostrich farm there. If you’ve never fed ostriches, I highly recommend it, even though they are a bit scary at first and look like six-foot-tall dinosaurs!
So, when planning a date, think: the more unique, the better (and more memorable).
3. Even If You Have An Indoor Date, Make It Better Than “Dinner And A Movie”
“Don’t get me wrong. I will watch movies with you, a bucket of caramel corn between us, my head snuggled against your chest, our legs intertwined. I will build forts in the living room, dress in my comfiest baggy clothes, have marathons of Breaking Bad and consume copious amounts of junk food. These things will make me happy, too. But not as exciting as living our lives. Not the same as sharing memories and moments as good—even better—than what’s on the television screen.” ~Maria Donnelly
Aw, forts made from couch cushions! So what if we’re not 10 years old anymore? We can still make one!
Like Connelly says, sharing memories off-screen is what life’s all about. Even if we’re not outdoors on a fun date, there are still clever indoor dates to be had, like going to an arcade, cooking something new together, or playing good, old-fashioned games, like Scrabble. Wouldn’t you agree?!