I Disagree With Kelly Clarkson’s Decision To Spank Her Kids For One Very Simple Reason
This isn't about judging Clarkson's behavior—it's about listening to 25 years of research. What are your opinions on this topic?
Clarkson was frank about her approach to discipline, telling listeners “I’m from the South, y’all, so we get spankings” and mentioning that her parents spanked her as well.
“My parents spanked me, and I did fine in life and I feel fine about it,” Clarkson shared.
Many people are upset about Clarkson’s admission that she believes in spanking—myself included. Frankly, I found the interview to be a very hard listen. I realize that many people are still pro-spanking, but the reality is that decades of research on spanking show it to be ineffective at best, and damaging to a child’s mental health at worst.
The “Love So Soft” singer acknowledged her comments might be disturbing to some parents, but she doesn’t let other people’s opinions deter her, and the singer even went so far as to joke, “You might catch me spanking my child at the zoo.”
Clarkson also assured listeners that she doesn’t hit River hard, and says spanking has really helped her curb River’s bad behavior. (Clarkson didn’t mention whether she spanks her youngest, Remington, who turns 2 in April.)
To put it simply, spanking has been shown to have a number of disturbing side effects, including increased aggression, lower IQ, lower self-esteem , less gray matter in the brain and even an increased risk of drug and alcohol abuse.
Spanked children are even more likely to become perpetrators of domestic and dating violence later in life, according to research.
In other words, violence begets violence, even when the person behind that violence believes that it is for the child’s own good. While Clarkson (and many other like-minded parents) certainly mean well, these studies show that their meaning is lost in translation. All the good intentions in the world can’t change the reality that when a parent hits a child, it “results in the same negative child outcomes as abuse, just to a slightly lesser degree.”
Although River is still quite young, as the mother of a daughter who is almost the exact same age, I can attest to the fact that children this young can and do feel humiliation. I have seen my daughter feel embarrassed from something as simple as falling down in the grocery store, so I can only imagine the level of shame she would feel if I were to hit her in front of her friends or other bystanders.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter whether Clarkson opts to spank at the zoo or in the privacy of her own home. What matters is that it’s been proven time and time again that spanking doesn’t work.
Yes, many adults who were spanked as kids turned out “fine,” but that’s not a good way to determine your parenting practices. After all, some people had parents who smoked or drank during pregnancy and lots of those children (luckily) turned out “fine.” Does that mean modern moms should smoke or drink when we know without question how damaging it is to a fetus?
Of course not. To paraphrase author Maya Angelou: “When you know better, you do better.” In other words, while many of us didn’t know before that spanking was a bad idea, we do now. We have the research. We have the testimony of so many children and adults who have bravely spoken out about this practice. We know better now. And we can do better.