Nikki Pennington is a wife and mom, and the writer behind the blog Grief to Hope. She regularly writes about love, motherhood, marriage and loss. Five years ago, Pennington lost her mom to brain cancer. Although it’s been half a decade since her mom died, in many ways, Pennington is still dealing with her grief.
She recently took to Facebook to enumerate the ways in which she still thinks about her mom and looks for signs of her on a daily basis. Her emotional disclosure resonated with people everywhere and the post has since been shared more than 7o0 times. It has over 1,000 likes and more than 200 comments.
Alongside a selfie, Pennington writes that no matter how many years it’s been since your mom has passed, you’ll still seek her out.
“And when she dies,” she writes, “you’ll search for her no matter how long she’s been gone.”
She goes on to list out all of the places and objects in which she still searches for her mom, including old correspondence between the two of them. She writes of how the pain can be particularly acute during important milestones in life, such as weddings, the birth of children and holidays.
“And when you are walking down the aisle, when your baby is born and when the holidays come around, you’ll search the room for her,” she writes.
Her post then points to the hope that is found when you can feel your mom’s presence in big and small ways.
“Then one day you won’t have to search any longer because you’ll find her,” she writes. “You’ll find her in the gentle breeze. You’ll find her in the words to your favorite song. You’ll find her in your child’s smile.”
She ends her post by with the reminder that your mom is always with you in spirit.
“You didn’t need to search far to find her because you are her daughter and that means a part of her is always with you,” she writes.
What a beautiful tribute! Here’s hoping that Pennington’s words give comfort to all those who are mourning the loss of a loved one during this holiday season.