What is the key to winning at dating and meeting someone, like the love of your life? Basically, getting out of the house. I know—so simple! But if you think about it, how many people do you know who prefer a night in with Netflix, with the women of Litchfield prison, versus a night out meeting people IRL?
I know we all get unmotivated from time to time, and lazy, and how many more, “So… Where are you from?/What do you do?/What’s your favorite thing to do?” conversations can we possibly have, only to end in never hearing from the person again or our not being interested? But, for every few bad dates we have (I know “few” varies from person to person), there’s bound to be a good one in there, even a great one. And that person makes dating worth it.
I’m a big fan of the Universe helping us—if we put it out there that we want a boyfriend (or girlfriend), we will find one. Just like doing research for a term paper, we do all we can to find out about the subject. With dating, the more dating sites we are on and the more available we make ourselves to finding someone, the more energy that we put out there that says, “Looking for love!” (but in a less cheesy way), the more likely we are to find it. (If you don’t believe me, try it and you’ll see!) Like gambling, we have to take a risk (dating vs. avoiding it altogether) to win big.
Here are all the ways you should get yourself out there. And, remember, for those nights you want to go straight home after work and not socialize (i.e, potentially meet someone), say to yourself: “Will I meet my future boyfriend or girlfriend sitting on my couch?” Exactly.
Everyone really is doing it, so why not you, too? I know a few dozen couples who met—and got married—after meeting on Match.com, and several others who met on OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, JDate, Tinder, and others. Also, as someone who used to write people’s dating profiles (and still does sometimes), the way you market yourself is everything, so run your profile (and pictures) by a friend before posting it. (LINKS: http://www.bustle.com/articles/69727-how-to-find-love-on-tinder-because-swiping-right-isnt-only-for-casual-hookups AND http://hellogiggles.com/learned-writing-peoples-online-dating-profiles)
2. The Other Online
Aside from formulaic dating sites that you join for the sole purpose of meeting someone, don’t forget about others, like Facebook and Instagram. Dating Coach/Matchmaker Rachel Greenwald suggests a game called “I Spy a Facebook Guy,” where you go through your Facebook friends’ friends and choose 50 people you’d be interested in dating. (It was like Hinge before Hinge.) Then, read their Facebook profiles and message them. You are bound to connect with someone.
3. Friends & friends of friends.
We all know couples who met through friends, but our friends don’t always overtly set us up with someone, per se. Instead, we meet someone at their parties or events. So, “go out even if you don’t feel like it.” A single guy friend of mine used to always say this—and lived it until he met the woman he married. (Yes, on a night he almost stayed in!)
4. Extracurricular events that interest you.
Yes, sometimes it’s that simple. If you pursue your own interests—like going to volunteer and tutor kids after work—you’re bound to meet another single person there without even trying! (Also, go to the event alone—and certainly not with a friend who someone can mistake as your boyfriend or girlfriend!)
5. Go out alone.
This means go out to eat, visit bookstores, go hiking, to movies, etc.—all alone. I know that this could be scary at first, especially if you aren’t used to it. But, usually, there are other people out solo, too, and they’ll find you if you don’t find them. One time, when I went to a movie alone, I ran into a girl I’d only met once. She was seeing the movie with her boyfriend and his friend, and his friend ended up sitting by me and asking me out. We saw each other a few times, proving once again that you never know!