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These days, everywhere we look, someone is offering us a way to add more positivity to our lives… for the low cost of $5,000 (or what have you) payable in easy monthly installments!
We can chant, recite and post positive affirmations, visualize our dreams and learn to be life coaches and help others master the art of positive thinking and turning visions into realities, too.
And none of us can forget Rhonda Byrne and The Secret (the book and the movie), all about the “law of attraction” and how we attract everything into our lives (good and bad, so we may as well focus on the good).
Now, although I sound like a bit of a naysayer, I do believe in mind over matter, “attitude is everything,” and so on and so forth regarding almost every cliché out there about being—and staying—optimistic.
In researching the topic, I found much out there, of course, on how you, too, can become a positivity guru and quite possibly never frown again. Here’s how.
According to this Lifehacker post, which borrowed from the blog Barking Up the Wrong Tree, they offer tips for those of us who have “an overly critical inner voice.” (Um, isn’t that ALL of us?!) They suggest changing the ways we think with the three P’s:
“How long is this going to last? Is this really going to last forever, or is this a setback you can get past in a short time?”
A therapist friend tells me the same thing each time I am faced with something I feel is *impossible* to overcome.
“You got through x, y, and z,” she’ll say, “so getting through this will be nothing.” And you know what? She’s ALWAYS right. So I agree, this “permanence” one is a big one.
“Is this problem universal? Is it an unavoidable law of the universe, or is it conditional?”
Is it possible for it to get better? (Guess what? Usually, the answer is “yes.”) So, once again, reframe that negative brain into plus signs, instead.
“Is the problem a fault with who you are, or is it a thing that just happens? For example, ‘I’m terrible at my job’ vs. ‘Today sucked, but I know I can do better.’”
Ah, I live in L.A., where so many people’s mantras seem to be, “Don’t take it personally.”
Yes, the confident me knows we all have bad days sometimes, and just because I messed up this one thing today (like found a typo in a 100-page screenplay that I proofread twice.
It doesn’t mean I don’t know how to proofread or should quit now, even if someone does get upset about it. Of course, they did not see the 1,001 typos I fixed.
So, as much as I want to have low proofreading self-esteem sometimes, I try to remind myself that we all make mistakes – it’s true!
Now, try the above three points with examples from your life and you’ll start feeling better in no time, I guarantee it.
All your mind needed was some turning those negatives into positives! And the more positives you have in your life, the more of them you will attract.
As Tony Robbins says, “Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you’re focusing on grows.” He’s right! You’ll see!
Photo by PhotosByDavid