The Way A Woman Showers Vs. The Way A Man Showers

Taking a shower seems like a universal thing. I mean, we all do it. But, let me tell you—there are plenty of differences between the way a man and a woman take a shower. It’s almost as if we are from different planets or something…

Don’t believe me? Let me lay out the process for you:


  • Takes off clothes and organizes them into different hampers. One for lights and one for darks.
  • Steps on the scale. You can only weigh yourself when you’re naked, after all.
  • Adjusts the water temperature just so and gets in the shower.
  • Looks to her array of products and starts with the shampoo.
  • Next, adds conditioner and pulls hair up into a bun because she read that helps prevent bumps along the back and the shoulders. All of that conditioner sitting on your skin for at least 15 minutes isn’t good.
  • Washes body with a big, poofy loofah.
  • Hums to herself.
  • Carefully shaves legs, so as not to miss a single spot.
  • Finally rinses out the conditioner.
  • Thoroughly rinses sponge.
  • Turns off water and sprays the shower with Tilex.
  • Collects any hair from the drain.
  • Towel-dries and wraps hair up in a second towel.
  • Styles hair.
  • Applies generous amounts of lotion before getting dressed again. This could take at least 20 minutes, depending on if she picked out her outfit ahead of time or not.


  • Takes off clothes in the bathroom and leaves them in a pile on the floor.
  • Turns the water on.
  • Gets in, realizing it’s way to hot and adjusts the handle quickly.
  • Reaches for 3-in-1 body wash, shampoo and conditioner (as if).
  • Applies all over his body with his hands.
  • Pees in the shower.
  • Rinses soap off of hair, armpits and body.
  • Turns the water off.
  • Gets out of the shower, dripping all over the bathroom floor.
  • Dries off, and drops towel to the floor with the rest of his clothes.
  • Gets dressed in under five minutes.

See what I mean. I don’t know how guys do it. How can two shower processes differ so much? Just add it to the long list of differences between women and men, I suppose.