Here’s What Sleep For Moms Really Looks Like

If you’re a mom, you probably gave up on sleep with your first child and, so long as your kids are at home, you’re still waiting for the day you get it back. According to Parents, about 76 percent of moms and dads have frequent sleep problems. We’re only surprised that number isn’t closer to 100 percent.

Thirty Handmade Days recently noted that there is plenty of guidance out there about the amount of sleep kids need—but what about their poor, sleep-deprived moms?! The blog shared a chart entitled “Updated Sleep Recommendations For Moms” that gets real about what it’s like for moms to try to get some shut-eye:

Brand New Moms

Let’s face it, you’re not getting any sleep. There’s only one recommendation for you (if you can call it that): “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ‘sleep’ that’s cute.”

Moms Of Toddlers

You’re lucky to get one to two hours of sleep. Try sleeping in “short bursts between requests for hugs and reassurances after scawy dweams.”

Moms Of Kids In Elementary School

You’re only sleeping about five hours so try cramming in whatever you can between bedtime stories and the 5 a.m. wake-up call.

Moms Of Tweens

Unfortunately, you’ve done some backtracking here. Instead of getting more sleep, you’re snoozing for about three hours, too worried about puberty, homework and trying to dissuade your tween from ever wanting a driver’s license.

Moms Of Teens

Even though you have a teen who probably sleeps until noon, you’re still not sleeping! You’re lucky to squeeze in an hour here or there. What’s keeping you from uninterrupted sleep? Not your kids this time. Instead it’s your worries about paying for braces and college, and the sheer terror at having a child behind the wheel (yep, you failed to convince them they didn’t need that driver’s license).

Moms of Grown-Ups

FINALLY you can get some rest. You drift off from time to time, wondering why they haven’t called, but you trust them enough to sleep for at least eight hours.

Flickr | Alyssa L. Miller

Jokes aside, the dangers of sleep deprivation are serious and can include memory lapses and a lack of patience (no kidding).

Parents says compensate by grabbing whatever sleep you can—trade off with your partner handling middle-of-the-night wake-ups, nap any chance you get and try to get a couple extra hours on the weekend.

Hang in there, moms, your days of blissful, uninterrupted sleep will come. You only have have about 18 years to wait.