9 signs you are definitely a Target mom

My fellow Target-loving moms will agree with me that Target is as necessary as drinking coffee and eating food, nevermind that it’s also where we buy the food (and drink the coffee).

Target is our answer for everything. Too hot to play outside? Target. Kids driving you nuts? Target. Need coffee? Target. Need a witness? Target. Need wine? Target.

Here are nine signs you are also in the Target mom’s club.

1. You can’t not spend less than $100.

No matter that I only have shampoo, granola bars and a birthday card on my list, the minute I enter Target I am $100 lighter. It happened this morning. I went to buy sandwich bags and I left with two throw pillows and a new lamp.

2. Target speaks your love language: coffee.

The critical Starbucks stop at the beginning of each shopping trip is as vital to moms as gasoline is to our mini vans.

3. You buy empty wrappers.

My cart is basically a trash can of empty food boxes. When I check out I am buying evidence of the snacks I let my kids open to give myself just a few more peaceful Target minutes.

4. Target is one of your preschooler’s first sight words.

“Hey, Mom! That sign says Target!” Very good, honey. Very good.

5. You would sign a petition to replace the semi-truck-sized double shopping cart.

My fellow Target moms, can we all agree that our love runs deep, but there is one thing that has us questioning everything? The double cart. It is from hell, and we all need to start a petition to figure this out.

Driving it is like BUMP, BUMP, SORRY!!, Ouch, Bump, Bump, Arghhh!! Target, can you please, please, do us moms a solid and burn these to the ground? Then talk to our friends at Costco about where they purchase their carts and follow suit.

6. A store remodel is cause for straight-up panic.

Dear Dallas Targets, I am so glad the remodel of all of your stores at the exact same time is finally finished. I spent six months wandering your aisles looking for shoes where paper towels used to be.

The week the Starbucks was closed was cause for a full-scale meltdown (by me not my kids). I barely survived. Please don’t do that ever again. Know you are perfect just the way you are. Love, Kate and Target moms everywhere

7. You make real estate decisions based on proximity to Target.

When we moved, I wanted four bedrooms, three baths, a bigger yard and a playroom. I got none of these things. But, I have two Target stores within 10 minutes of my house. Location, location, location.

8. If Target doesn’t have it, you question if you actually need it.

The other day I needed a photo album. Naturally, I went to Target. But, GASP, photo albums (and dog leashes… don’t ask) are some of the things to get the boot with a new store remodel. I could go to another store, but, how important are those memories and Fido anyway?

9. An hour at Target alone is as good as a day at the spa.

Nothing refreshes quite like a hot cup of coffee and Target clearance racks.