‘Avozillas’ are giant avocados the size of your head

We’re gonna need bigger toast.

Whoever said size doesn’t matter clearly doesn’t love avocados as much as we here at Simplemost do. So yeah, when we heard about avocados the size of a person’s face, we had to find out more.

And so we find ourselves in Australia, a wild place known for large, scary animals. But this time the biting goes the other way. These popular new treats are called “avozillas,” a cross of two species of avocado, West Indian and Guatemalan, that can grow to be up to 4 pounds — which is about five times the size of a regular avocado!

The gigantic fruit is originally from South Africa, but Nine News in Queensland, Australia reports that a local farm has started selling avozillas for $12 Australian each (nearly $9 American) and the internet is freaking out as millennials everywhere sob tears of joy.

Because farms have to pay royalties to plant the trees and they take four years to bear fruit, there are a limited supply of avozillas, further fueling the madness. But Nine News Queensland said another Australian farm has just planted 2,000 trees, so in another four years there should be another big haul.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BlSZReWjhX0/?tagged=avozilla

But let’s be real: How does it taste?

“I’m pleased to say they’re just as buttery as a Shepard or a Hass,” David Grove told Nine News Queensland.

People online are loving them, if only for the great Instagram photo opportunities they provide!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BlSdikVjDMr/?tagged=avozilla

Works for me, though Buzzfeed did say that you will have to be a little patient with your avozillas, since quick-ripening hacks apparently won’t work on these monsters.

But once they are ripe, imagine all the possibilities. You could make guacamole for your entire neighborhood. Tom Brady could make his strange ice cream forever. Forget proposing with a ring in an avocado, you could fit a puppy with a bow in that thing!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BlFH27ogc8Y/?taken-by=thedragonfruitgrower

So, would you pay $9 for an avozilla? Let me know if you do. I’ll bring the chips.